chabbit: The hardest part of writing witty dialogue is that I’m not as witty as the characters
alltimeangela: why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
hipsterwithhelvetica: kavicordi: hipsterwithhelvetica: today i learned that we invented bananas How… does one “invent” banana I… Australia must be full of geniuses this is the only logic don’t ask me someone said ‘yeah we invented bananas by breeding plantains’ and i was just ‘woah’ i dont even know if thats true or if they were bullshitting but if so we invented a fruit and thats p...
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
why is so hot too hot for things
octosmagiccastle: My new favorite emoticon is :3x It’s like he is putting his little handsies together.
toadlyoko: So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.
vampyrekat: amoying: imagine a world where all living beings coexist with each other, like you go to the market and a bear is packing your groceries. You drive home and you see tulips playing soccer, that’s the world i wanna live in. What the fuck would you eat
brandisbigbootybitches: im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
>Sototh: YOU HATE MIND READING YOU HATE MIND READING YOU HATE MIND READING [[MORE]]
turbro: Please for the love of god, click this.
ilovecephalopods: adamflayman: my dashboard is 90% depressive posts but it should be 100% baby squid posts let get this squid party moving along everyone needs more baby squids on their dash! here’s more baby squids!! and some baby octopuses because they’re cute too!
antst00fs: I can’t believe the soda company from Hey Arnold bought Tumblr
arsenickittenip: Woah hey so everyone’s freaking out about the whole Yahoo deal so I was like “okay I’m gonna go look this thing up then!” and look what I found!! “… let it continue to operate as an independent business.” In other words: Calm down people, Yahoo’s not gonna mess up your precious fandom blogging experience Source: [x]
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
simplymykayla: cnnbreakingofficial: if tumblr was bought out for $1.1B and there are 60 million blogs that means each blog is worth $18.3 my blog is worth more than i am
rock-bomber: rock-bomber: rock-bomber: rock-bomber: Weelee! Weelee… Weelee….. WEELEE